FSU vs. the NCAA

I concur:

http://rivals.yahoo.com/ncaa/football/blog/dr_saturday/post/You-too-can-juke-the-NCAA-Just-keep-your-mout?urn=ncaaf,147129&post_comment=1&success=1

FAIL:

http://blog.nola.com/johndeshazier/2009/03/ncaa_should_take_the_wins_from.html

Riddle me this...

How is Myron Rolle, who is an A student in a master's program and a newly minted Rhodes Scholar, a second-team Academic All-American, while Tim Tebow, who has a less impressive GPA in his Family/Life Studies (what IS that, anyway?) degree program, a first-teamer?

As D. put it, "It's troubling."

I suppose that while Myron Rolle is off discovering a cure for Alzheimer's at Oxford, we'll learn that Tebow can, in fact, walk on water and feed the masses.

ESPN, you suck.

Overheard...well, read on GChat.

On the sheer notion of a Bobby Bowden nacho cheese fountain (please see Saturday night's YouTube post about it), my friend Natalie sent me an IM reading, "I want to dip a ritz cracker in it and then my head."

NOLEY NOLEY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLES!

It's been a joyous day.

Myron Rolle is a Rhodes Scholar.

FSU kept its ACC hopes alive in a BIG, BIG way, defeating Maryland in a chilly road game.

And then someone told me this would be our wedding gift, and I was most pleased.



Anyone in for a game watch next week against the much-vaunted, Citadel-destroying TeHarvins of UF?

P.S. Prospect 1 has been a BLAST.

Myron Rolle. Wow.

Just a link roll here, folks:

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/sportsline/main11098557.shtml

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/writers/stewart_mandel/11/12/mailbag/1.html

Yeah, this kid is pretty awesome. I'm glad he's a Nole.

Kicking Friday off on a happy note...

GO SEMINOLES!

In honor of Miami Week...

May I present...



GEAUX NOLES!

(This, um, assumes, more consistency from behind center.)

FSU, LSU and awful fans.

On Saturday night, D. and I trekked over to Big Al's Seafood, where we met up with other Noles, including the wonderfully witty NOLACleophatra and Your Right Hand Thief.

I'd wager that we had a great little group going on. We showed up early, and we had called ahead.

Mind you, LSU has a fantastic football team. I've also never had a problem with any LSU football fans - but I'm about to relate the exception to the rule.

So here's what happened.

We started watching the game when four LSU fans came in and started rudely telling me to enjoy the game while I could, because they'd make sure it got changed to the LSU game when it started. So then I told them very calmly, look, I appreciate your position, but we set it up several days ago, and we were here early.

They told me that if I wanted to watch some lame game in LSU country, I should just go the eff back to Florida, where I belong. That's the nicest thing they said the entire time, actually.

I said, "That's really rude and uncalled for."

Them: "Well, FSU sucks." They kept bitching.

They then called the manager over and tried to berate her into changing the channel. She gave in. They start taunting us. Another table gets up and leaves because of them. The manager comes over to tell us she's going to change the channel.

I look her in the eye, and say, "I'm very sorry you've been put in this position, and I recognize that we're in southern Louisiana, but we're customers, we've been polite, and that would be incredibly unfair."

She's clearly not used to these situations. Dave gently reminds her that we were here 45 minutes before the asshole LSU fans. At this point, the owner comes out. He's planning to change the channel until the waitress goes to the mat for us. She was seriously great. She had overheard everything, and she told the manager that the LSU fans had created the conflict and had been very rude.

Ultimately, he says, "Hey, LSU people, geaux Tigers, but they were here first. It's only fair. Call ahead next time."

They get pissed. Throw a hissy fit. Bitch and moan. Finally, the bitchy LSU chick running the show demands the bill and announces stridently to the entire bar area, "We're taking our business elsewhere."

Now here's the kicker. LSU-Auburn was obviously a huge game. It was on 2 other TV's in the place. It was on at roughly 1,000 (I'm not exaggerating) bars/restaurants in the metro New Orleans area. Why pick a fight like that? Why?

Had they been nice, or even asked, we would have moved to the bar, where the smaller TVs were. Instead they were combative, rude and out of line. I get that it was a huge game, and we wanted to watch it, too. And LSU had a tremendous victory over Auburn. I also get that we live in LSU country. But that doesn't relegate fellow college football fans and customers to second-tier status.

When people immediately go on the offensive like that, it just makes me dig in my heels. Case in point, right?

At the end of the night, we all apologized profusely to the owner, the manager and the kick-ass waitress. We also left a huge tip. She told us she was glad they left instead of us, because at least we weren't jerks.

So for those hopefully-exception-to-the-rule-jerkoff fans, I present some important bar patron rules:

1. If you arrive late and have not called ahead, you don't get to butt ahead in line without express permission of those who got their before you.
2. Don't chase off other customers and expect people to warm to your cause.
3. Honey, vinegar, flies. You know the ol' saying.
4. If a bar patron is wearing another team's shirt, and they are not your rival, don't be an ass. Chances are, they pay taxes in the same area as you, and they are also customers.
5. Berating staff and management will not serve your cause, either. Please reference the film "Waiting" for additional information on this.
6. Just living 60 minutes from a university does not create a universal standard of Tier 1 status for why your game should trump another (which in all fairness, was their logic - not that it was a huge match-up, but that LSU was closer than FSU.)

I'm not going to write about how perfect FSU fans are. We aren't. But we know better than to act like the Ugly American stereotype so many Europeans link to the U.S.

That said, even though FSU committed seven turnovers and exhibited atrocious playcalling and execution, I had a great time hanging out with the other 6 FSU fans there.

Also, because I'm not a jerkoff fan, congrats to LSU for their hugely important win over Auburn.

OK, it's set: Florida State vs. Wake Forest, NOLA styley.

OK, Seminole fans - I know FSU's alumni club has been defunct in New Orleans since Katrina, and frankly, it's been a struggle to revive it (between work and the lack of alumni still living in the area/out-of-date contact info for alums).

But at the very least, we can manage a game watch for the FSU-Wake Forest game.

It was a challenge to identify a venue. I mean, NOLA has many virtues - but a quality selection of sports bars is not among them.

The luminous NOLACleophatra came to our rescue. A fellow Nole, she suggested we get off the beaten path and away from the Fat Harry's and Cooter Brown's of the world. We need beer, we need food, and we need it away from the LSU game, right?

So here are the details of our game watch - come one, come all. We will drown our sorrows (joys?) in Abita and buckets of boiled crawfish.

What: FSU vs. Wake Forest
When: Saturday at 6:00 p.m.
Where: Big Al's Seafood (1377 Annunciation St., New Orleans, LA 70130)

See y'all then! E-mail me for more information.

GEAUX NOLES!

Any interest in an FSU game watching soiree this weekend?

We are, after all, playing Wake.

Thoughts? Ruminations? Smack?

The Bobby Speaks.

This is a fabulous distraction from the oil fumes coating the city and its environs at the moment...



Yet another distraction? Saints training camp begins today. And Colston is there!

Oh! Congrats to Walter Dix, too.

Walter became the sixth Seminole to qualify for the summer Olympics.

http://seminoles.cstv.com/sports/c-track/spec-rel/063008aaa.html

That just broke my heart.

17 batters were left stranded on base.

Sigh.

Glam rock and Creole tomatoes

As D. and I were getting ready for work this morning (and enjoying our new haircuts - I have almost 4" less!), I couldn't get this song out of my head, so please enjoy the hairtastic, uberglam gloriousness of The Darkness.




Seriously, the lead singer, Justin Hawkins, possesses an almost Freddie Mercury-esque vocal range.

In other news:

The College World Series begins this weekend.

Ray Nagin is still a tool.

The Creole Tomato Festival, as well as the Cajun/Zydeco and Louisiana Seafood Festivals, will take place this weekend.

Oh, and Buster Posey yet again pwns you.

Buster Posey pwns you, part III.

FSU is going to Omaha for the College World Series, despite a jhorts-wearing, pornstache-sporting FSU fan who nearly changed the course of the game. (Steve Bartman, did you REALLY take Jeb Bush up on his offer for amnesty?!)

In honor of that, here's something I shamelessly borrowed from adapted Chuck Norrisisms on Warchant.com.

If you have five dollars and Buster Posey has five dollars, Buster Posey has more money than you.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Buster Posey's computer.
Buster Posey is always in control.
Apple pays Buster Posey 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Buster Posey can sneeze with his eyes open.
Buster Posey can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
Buster Posey is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you. Buster Posey can kill two stones with one bird.
When Buster Posey calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
Buster Posey once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
When Buster Posey falls in water, Buster Posey doesn't get wet. Water gets Buster Posey.
Buster Posey CAN believe it's not butter.
Buster Posey can divide by zero.
Buster Posey knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.
When taking the SAT, write "Buster Posey" for every answer. You will score over 800.
Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Buster Posey.
Buster Posey ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
It only takes Buster Posey 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Buster Posey has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it tries to steal second.
Tim Tebow wears Buster Posey pajamas.
Buster Posey can slam a revolving door.
Helen Keller's favorite color is Buster Posey.
Buster Posey actually built Rome in a day.
'Icy-Hot' is too weak for Buster Posey. After a workout, Buster Posey rubs his muscles down with liquid-hot MAGMA.
Buster Posey recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
Buster Posey doesnt do push-ups, he pushes the Earth down.
Buster Posey does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.

And finally....Buster Posey can touch MC Hammer.

With the 5th pick in the draft...

...the San Francisco Giants select Gerald D. Posey from Florida State University.

I was getting worried there - MLB.com was speculating that Buster's advisor was demanding $12 million for Posey, which made a lot of teams shy away from him. Some were projecting a Brady Quinn-like fall in the draft, but hey, I'll take No. 5!

All that aside, I really hate the Giants.

Buster Posey pwns you, part deux.

In honor of today's draft:





Good luck today, Buster!

Tallahassee: a story of pizza and sunscreen.

D. and I had a most eventful (whooo, tire blowout at 1:30 a.m.!) trip to Tallahassee this past weekend for the NCAA Regionals. Mainly it was a nice break from everything that's going on with my mother (things aren't good, and no, I don't want to elaborate).

We stayed with my brother (thanks, Mike!), hung out with our friends Chris and Rebecca (and Fudge, Lynne, and Toker), and met some new rabid FSU fans. We enjoyed watching Florida go 0-2, and we enjoyed chatting with the visiting Bucknell and Tulane fans (who were very cool).

But mostly, while I enjoyed watching FSU decimate Tulane on Sunday night, D. spent his 9 innings daydreaming about the joys of Momo's.

Yes. Momo's. Where pizza slices are ginormous and your stomach hates you for the next 4 hours.
THAT Momo's. D. ordered a daring two slices - but could he finish them?

Given that D. is fairly skinny, I'm not sure where he lodges two slices' worth of Momo's - I'm assuming at this point that my fiance has four stomachs, which is remarkable, given that I'm fairly sure that his brother has 6-8 stomachs (I'm pretty jealous/impressed with D.'s brother's ability to inhale food).

But by George, he accomplished quite a feat...one that can only be likened to:

(ZIGGY PIGGY!)

It was an interesting and occasionally illuminating weekend. That said, geaux Noles!

Shockin' the world!

Tally was...interesting. The Noles pulled out the regional win over Tulane last night - which was a tremendous relief.

Next up? The Shockers of Wichita State!

(Shockin' the world, y'all...)

I'm in a weird mood today, so I'll just give you a little weird Death Cab for Cutie.

Tally Ho!

So last weekend D. and I hit up the New Orleans Wine and Food Experience. NOLA, one of Emeril's local restaurants, scored big with a pound cake with a Barq's root beer glaze (don't think I won't be looking for that recipe!), and lots of different vineyards were represented.

Much fun - and champagne - was had by all. Better yet, we saw this:

We also were fortunate enough to see our friend T., who was in town for a bachelor party. Mmmm, bell pepper rings and peanut butter pie at Franky and Johnny's. Mmmmmmmmmmmm.

On Sunday we turned our living room into Indy headquarters and watched all three Indiana Jones films before traipsing over to the Prytania to watch Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. (WTH was up with the monkeys? Cate Blanchett's "Rocky and Bullwinkle" accent?)

This week has been insanely busy, but last night marked the beginning of four days of baseball. Last night was Jewish Heritage Night at the Zephyrs, and more the 170 members of the local Jewish community headed over to Zephyrs stadium for a double-header, $1 beer and kosher hot dogs.

Out of respect for the several orthodox rabbis sitting behind us, we contained our craving for the pork-laden Pig Nachos. Sigh.

Tonight we're heading to Tallahassee for the NCAA Baseball Regionals. Tulane, UF, Bucknell and FSU will be facing off in the 26th NCAA regional that the Seminoles have hosted.

Go Noles! FSU friends, we'll see you in the morning at Publix when we pick up our tailgating supplies.