FSU, LSU and awful fans.

On Saturday night, D. and I trekked over to Big Al's Seafood, where we met up with other Noles, including the wonderfully witty NOLACleophatra and Your Right Hand Thief.

I'd wager that we had a great little group going on. We showed up early, and we had called ahead.

Mind you, LSU has a fantastic football team. I've also never had a problem with any LSU football fans - but I'm about to relate the exception to the rule.

So here's what happened.

We started watching the game when four LSU fans came in and started rudely telling me to enjoy the game while I could, because they'd make sure it got changed to the LSU game when it started. So then I told them very calmly, look, I appreciate your position, but we set it up several days ago, and we were here early.

They told me that if I wanted to watch some lame game in LSU country, I should just go the eff back to Florida, where I belong. That's the nicest thing they said the entire time, actually.

I said, "That's really rude and uncalled for."

Them: "Well, FSU sucks." They kept bitching.

They then called the manager over and tried to berate her into changing the channel. She gave in. They start taunting us. Another table gets up and leaves because of them. The manager comes over to tell us she's going to change the channel.

I look her in the eye, and say, "I'm very sorry you've been put in this position, and I recognize that we're in southern Louisiana, but we're customers, we've been polite, and that would be incredibly unfair."

She's clearly not used to these situations. Dave gently reminds her that we were here 45 minutes before the asshole LSU fans. At this point, the owner comes out. He's planning to change the channel until the waitress goes to the mat for us. She was seriously great. She had overheard everything, and she told the manager that the LSU fans had created the conflict and had been very rude.

Ultimately, he says, "Hey, LSU people, geaux Tigers, but they were here first. It's only fair. Call ahead next time."

They get pissed. Throw a hissy fit. Bitch and moan. Finally, the bitchy LSU chick running the show demands the bill and announces stridently to the entire bar area, "We're taking our business elsewhere."

Now here's the kicker. LSU-Auburn was obviously a huge game. It was on 2 other TV's in the place. It was on at roughly 1,000 (I'm not exaggerating) bars/restaurants in the metro New Orleans area. Why pick a fight like that? Why?

Had they been nice, or even asked, we would have moved to the bar, where the smaller TVs were. Instead they were combative, rude and out of line. I get that it was a huge game, and we wanted to watch it, too. And LSU had a tremendous victory over Auburn. I also get that we live in LSU country. But that doesn't relegate fellow college football fans and customers to second-tier status.

When people immediately go on the offensive like that, it just makes me dig in my heels. Case in point, right?

At the end of the night, we all apologized profusely to the owner, the manager and the kick-ass waitress. We also left a huge tip. She told us she was glad they left instead of us, because at least we weren't jerks.

So for those hopefully-exception-to-the-rule-jerkoff fans, I present some important bar patron rules:

1. If you arrive late and have not called ahead, you don't get to butt ahead in line without express permission of those who got their before you.
2. Don't chase off other customers and expect people to warm to your cause.
3. Honey, vinegar, flies. You know the ol' saying.
4. If a bar patron is wearing another team's shirt, and they are not your rival, don't be an ass. Chances are, they pay taxes in the same area as you, and they are also customers.
5. Berating staff and management will not serve your cause, either. Please reference the film "Waiting" for additional information on this.
6. Just living 60 minutes from a university does not create a universal standard of Tier 1 status for why your game should trump another (which in all fairness, was their logic - not that it was a huge match-up, but that LSU was closer than FSU.)

I'm not going to write about how perfect FSU fans are. We aren't. But we know better than to act like the Ugly American stereotype so many Europeans link to the U.S.

That said, even though FSU committed seven turnovers and exhibited atrocious playcalling and execution, I had a great time hanging out with the other 6 FSU fans there.

Also, because I'm not a jerkoff fan, congrats to LSU for their hugely important win over Auburn.

How to Second Line...

This guy just cracks me up.

Wow.

Rebirth actually did a second line down our street when our neighbor, Jay, was announced as the Big Shot for the Krewe of Zulu. So much fun!

Some notes:

• I totally called Bobby Petrino's departure from Atlanta. Look at the ol' Auburn fiasco from a few years ago...that'll tell you all you need to know about his character.
• I think there's a tremendous silver lining here - Atlanta now has a chance to score someone like Cowher or Schottenheimer and a QB from the upcoming draft, like Matty "I heart Dave Matthews" Ryan or Colt ".45" Brennan. Think about it, Mr. Blank.
• C'mon, Vikings, just lose 1-2 games. Please?
• Hawaii fans will be invading NOLA in droves for the Sugar Bowl - aloha, y'all!
• Crazy happenings along I-12 - two corpses were found an exit apart on the North Shore at around 6:30 this morning.
• And it's official - Jimbo Fisher will be the next head coach at Florida State. We all knew it, but apparently the university felt that a press conference would be handy.
• Les Miles? What the heck are you doing conferring with Michigan?

Ohio State vs...

LSU, a 2-loss team who won an emotional, gritty SEC championship with Flynn out?

Virginia Tech, who is hot recently?

Oklahoma, who manhandled Mizzou tonight?

Georgia, who streaked late in the season?

USC, who won the PAC-10 today against UCLA?

Kansas, who only has one loss?

I think...the nod has to go to either LSU or Oklahoma.

Hang on a sec, folks - here's my rationale:

• While I admit to being an ACC gal, the SEC was stronger than the PAC-10, the Big 12 or the ACC this year.
• LSU and Oklahoma won their conferences. KU and UGA did not.
• LSU utterly destroyed Virginia Tech in their meeting on September 8th. So if the voters are considering the head-to-head in their poll votes tonight, LSU has the decided edge.
• Oklahoma beat the number 1 team in the nation tonight (whether or not that ranking was deserved, OU was also the favorite according to odds-makers...so take that as you will).

So as my better half puts it, we'll know in the morning, right? If we see LSU ranked second in the polls, we'll have a pretty good idea what the BCS will do.

For now, we can all shake our heads at WVU and wonder about what could have been had the Mountaineers overcome White's injury tonight in the Backyard Brawl. And then there's the matter of Hawaii's struggle with UW tonight...thoughts?

P.S. How genius was it for Les Miles to announce that he was staying at LSU BEFORE the SEC championship? Not only did he fire up his players, but he managed to fashion himself a bit of an SEC folk hero for turning down his dream job. I'd speculate that the departure of his defensive coordinator to Nebraska and LSU's reportedly swank offer to him impacted that fiery little call-out of ESPN this morning...or maybe I'm just cynical?

And to think, this could be LSU's next coach.

This one's for you, D.

Thanks, Robbie!

Will he or won't we?

Is Les Miles destined to remain in Baton Rouge, or is the Big House in Ann Arbor calling his name?

Since Michigan's disastrous season-opening loss to Appalachian State, sportswriters and bloggers (including your petite little wordsmith) have been speculating as to Lloyd Carr's fate with the Wolverines.

Earlier today, he announced his retirement from coaching, effectively ending things on his own terms. Let the games begin, folks. 2007's version of Coaching Musical Chairs is about to begin.

Will Miles remain at LSU, or will he return to his roots at Michigan? Will Tuberville remain at Auburn, knowing that they secretly tried to replace him with Petrino a few years ago? Or will he take Franchione's spot at Texas A&M? More importantly, at least for local fans, who would replace Miles at the helm of the Bayou Bengals? Here are a few names I've heard bandied about:

• Mark "Land Manatee" Mangino (don't laugh, he's taken meh talent at KU and transformed the Jayhawks into more than just a basketball school)
• Steve "Pruneface" Spurrier (Louisiana has proven fertile and easy recruiting ground for LSU, but is it enough to lure the Ol' Ball Coach from his afternoon golf game?)
• Jimbo "Please, No, We Like Him Immensely at FSU" Fisher (As the boyfriend points out, this would only be feasible if LSU were willing to clean house of all of Miles' staff, given the animosity between the two...plus, we really, really, REALLY like him at FSU and would like to keep him there. This admonition goes for you, too, Georgia Tech. And Auburn, too. Stay away from our OC, or we will be forced to throw the power of the Bobby upon you.)
• Bo "Hey, guys, I'm still here!" Pellini (LSU's current defensive coordinator, a bastion of stability)
• A rising star like Rich Rodriguez (WVU's hotshot coach hasn't looked as fantastic in the absence of his OL coach, Rick Trickett...who now coaches the 'Noles)
• An NFL assistant coach, perhaps? But who?

So let your predictions be heard. This, folks, should be fun.

Saban Bowl

Happy Tiger-Tide Tussle Day!

It's LSUBAMA Eve!

Kickoff for tomorrow's LSU-Alabama game is just about 30 hours away. There's a lot of drama associated with the game, naturally -

• Nick Saban, former coach of the Miami Dolphins, left LSU after winning a national championship to try his luck with the NFL. After further driving the Phins into the ground, he backstabbed Wayne Huizenga, taunted reporters about not being the next head coach of the University of Alabama, and hightailed it out of Miami for...you guessed it, Tuscaloosa.
• On the other side of the coin, Les Miles is rumored to be the next head coach at Michigan. Lloyd Carr's ticket is up this year, folks, and Miles' roots at Michigan run very, very deep - will he stay or will he go?
• It's a key SEC West match-up - so this game will be brutal, intense and about more than bragging rights for the universities' respective coaches. Both teams are coming off a bye-week, so I'd expect a tense first quarter of play.
• LSU has had some off-the-field drama this week with the suspension of back-up quarterback Ryan Perrilloux (reinstated earlier this year by a forgiving Les Miles) and the dismissal of linebacker Derrick Odom due to a nightclub brawl. Perrilloux was let off the hook by Baton Rouge police, but Odom was cited for a misdemeanor. Whoops...

So, folks? Score predictions? Is LSU the best team in the country, despite undefeated (thus far) seasons from Ohio State (Kevin has a running bet with D. about the outcome of the season, as he is a ginormous Buckeyes fan), Boston College (I'm soooo sick of Doug Flutie yapping about how Matt Ryan is the second coming of...well...him), Kansas and Hawaii?

Alabama has shown the ability to play tough, but injuries and a lack of leadership and execution on the field have made their play this season inconsistent at best. LSU is solid, but took a morale hit this week - I really think that Perrilloux is a spark for that team. So what will the outcome of the Saban Bowl be?

The Trifecta!

In honor of LSU-Bama week, here's a fark of Nick Saban trying to explain his loss to FSU in the context of the general 2007 meltdown of Britney Spears.

Like I said, it's a trifecta.

Sadly, it's only kinda funny. And that's stretching it a bit.

In honor of LSU/Tulane

Don't forget your celebratory bloody mary tomorrow morning as LSU prepares to take on the mighty Green Wave in the Superdome. Kickoff is scheduled for noon, and if this doesn't make you go, "What the eff?," you're clearly an LSU fan.

Or, as Kevin more succinctly put it as he stood here in my office, gaping, a few minutes ago: "There are NO words."

On a random side note, as both Dave the Banker and Kevin are wont to point out, New Orleans is the only city to have the distinction of being destroyed by the mascot of a local university - the Green Wave. Then again, they went to Tulane, so clearly they are jaded by popped collars and myriad pastel colors.

Found on Cajun Boy's blog:

The first USA Today Coaches' Poll

Whoo-hoo! FSU is ranked #21.

1. Southern California (11-2) 1,481 (45 first-place votes). 2. LSU (11-2) 1,372 (4) 3. Florida (13-1) 1,278 (9) 4. Texas (10-3) 1,231 5. Michigan (11-2) 1,218 (2) 6. West Virginia (11-2) 1,205 7. Wisconsin (12-1) 1,114 8. Oklahoma (11-3) 1,026 9. Virginia Tech (10-3) 1,005 10. Ohio State (12-1) 919 11. Louisville (12-1) 836 12. California (10-3) 763 13. Georgia (9-4) 604 14. Auburn (11-2) 595 15. Tennessee (9-4) 583 16. Rutgers (11-2) 466 17. UCLA (7-6) 454 18. Penn State (9-4) 44019. Nebraska (9-5) 388 20. Arkansas (10-4) 360 21. Florida State (7-6) 301 22. TCU (11-2) 233 23. Boise State (13-0) 222 24. Hawaii (11-3) 214 25. Texas A&M (9-4) 209

Some thoughts...

Not too many surprises here. I'm shocked that Notre Dame didn't get a sympathy nod...but that's about it. Sportswriters love the Fightin' Irish, much to my chagrin. Maybe this year this get that Notre Dame is King of the Bowl Choke...or maybe they just miss Brady Quinn too much. Either way, HA!

::shrugging::

FSU plays a tough, tough schedule this year. I'm very excited about our coaching changes, but I think we will probably lose to VT (ugh) and Alabama (ugh), and my thoughts on the UF game are still up in the air (gotta love the uncertainty of the preseason). Something tells me that if we show up against Clemson Labor Day weekend, we'll take that game pretty easily. But we'll see. I see us losing a couple this year, and coming out strong in 2008 - while I am a huge Noles fan, I am not so much a zealot that I can't divorce myself from the rabid nature of the average college football fan.

I am a LITTLE surprised that Miami isn't ranked, because I've been hearing good things about Randy Shannon, but then again, Miami, like so many other teams in the era of recruiting parity, is a big question mark. I think Virginia Tech will be brutally good this year, and I would not be surprised if NC State was a dark horse candidate for winning the ACC - Tom O'Brien inherits Chuck Amato's great recruiting classes. Amato might not have worked out as a head coach, but he's a tremendously good recruiter, and I expect that FSU's 2008 recruiting class will reflect that, now that he's back under the Nole umbrella.

In the SEC west, I think LSU and Auburn will battle it out. Arkansas has had so much strife over the past year, I think team cohesiveness will be low. Houston Nutt will likely have difficulty keeping the resentment of his players reined in. Les Miles, LSU's head coach, has publicly lambasted the Pac-10, which includes highly touted USC and Cal. LSU lost a LOT of talent in this year's draft, but they are returning some interesting talent, including Early Doucet and moronic QB Ryan Perrilloux. In the eastern half of the SEC, I suspect that Florida will lose at least two games this season - Tim Tebow is not the second coming of the messiah, Gator fans. He's capable of some amazing plays, but he still needs time to develop consistency. Until then, he's a big variable. Tennessee and Georgia should be fun to watch...and Lord knows I'm hoping for some more tasty Booster smackdowns between Alabama and Tennessee.

(Have I mentioned how much I detest Nick Saban? ::involuntary shudder of distaste::

The one thing I am definitely gratified to see in the poll is Hawaii - I expect another great season from former Colorado problem-child Colt Brennan. June Jones's Warriors have a relatively easy schedule which should allow Brennan to rack up some mighty fine highlight video, and assuming he does that, pencil him in as a Heisman finalist.

Another team to watch this year is Texas A&M - do NOT be surprised if they beat the Longhorns this year. (And let's see what Prince can do against a tough Big 12 schedule and a lot of staffing changes for K-State. See, D.? I'm giving your Wildcats some love!)

In the Big Tenleven, watch out for Penn State. As long as Joe Paterno and Bobby Bowden are both still alive, both will continue coaching with fervor - they both want that coaching record. It's nice to see that competitive nature return in both coaches - both will leave their programs on the upswing when they depart the college football arena. And that's just GREAT for the sport - we need good stories like that. Ohio State and Michigan are both strong this year, but...I'm not sold on either yet.

I still hate preseason polls, because I think that it's so difficult to be a dark horse with them. LSU and Auburn fans, I'm sure, can both agree with this...!

Anyhow, we'll see...just over three weeks to go, folks. I, for one, can't wait...after all, the BCS Title Game is here in NOLA this year!

(Source: USA Today - http://www.usatoday.com/sports/college/football/2007-08-02-usc-poll-cover_N.htm)