Monday, June 9, 2008

Buster Posey pwns you, part III.

FSU is going to Omaha for the College World Series, despite a jhorts-wearing, pornstache-sporting FSU fan who nearly changed the course of the game. (Steve Bartman, did you REALLY take Jeb Bush up on his offer for amnesty?!)

In honor of that, here's something I shamelessly borrowed from adapted Chuck Norrisisms on

If you have five dollars and Buster Posey has five dollars, Buster Posey has more money than you.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Buster Posey's computer.
Buster Posey is always in control.
Apple pays Buster Posey 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Buster Posey can sneeze with his eyes open.
Buster Posey can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
Buster Posey is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you. Buster Posey can kill two stones with one bird.
When Buster Posey calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
Buster Posey once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
When Buster Posey falls in water, Buster Posey doesn't get wet. Water gets Buster Posey.
Buster Posey CAN believe it's not butter.
Buster Posey can divide by zero.
Buster Posey knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.
When taking the SAT, write "Buster Posey" for every answer. You will score over 800.
Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Buster Posey.
Buster Posey ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
It only takes Buster Posey 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Buster Posey has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it tries to steal second.
Tim Tebow wears Buster Posey pajamas.
Buster Posey can slam a revolving door.
Helen Keller's favorite color is Buster Posey.
Buster Posey actually built Rome in a day.
'Icy-Hot' is too weak for Buster Posey. After a workout, Buster Posey rubs his muscles down with liquid-hot MAGMA.
Buster Posey recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
Buster Posey doesnt do push-ups, he pushes the Earth down.
Buster Posey does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.

And finally....Buster Posey can touch MC Hammer.


Brandon said...

"It's ain't about me," Martin said. "It's about us."

Ahahaha. Nice jab at Chris Rix, too.

Also, what is a jhort?

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