Monday, September 29, 2008

Life is good.

On Friday night, I came home from work to an amazing surprise.

On Saturday, in quick succession:

UF lost (HA!)
UM lost (Double-HA!)
FSU won
K-State won

On Sunday:

I went to the Saints game and sat on the 50 yard-line right behind the Saints' bench. I was able to watch Drew and Deuce shred the 49ers' D.

Plus, the one garbage touchdown the 49ers had was from Isaac Bruce - who is on my fantasy roster.

I kicked ass in our fantasy league this weekend.

I have lost almost 4 lbs.

I have an amazing fiance.

I have the two cutest dogs in the world.

Life is good.

Monday, September 22, 2008

FSU, LSU and awful fans.

On Saturday night, D. and I trekked over to Big Al's Seafood, where we met up with other Noles, including the wonderfully witty NOLACleophatra and Your Right Hand Thief.

I'd wager that we had a great little group going on. We showed up early, and we had called ahead.

Mind you, LSU has a fantastic football team. I've also never had a problem with any LSU football fans - but I'm about to relate the exception to the rule.

So here's what happened.

We started watching the game when four LSU fans came in and started rudely telling me to enjoy the game while I could, because they'd make sure it got changed to the LSU game when it started. So then I told them very calmly, look, I appreciate your position, but we set it up several days ago, and we were here early.

They told me that if I wanted to watch some lame game in LSU country, I should just go the eff back to Florida, where I belong. That's the nicest thing they said the entire time, actually.

I said, "That's really rude and uncalled for."

Them: "Well, FSU sucks." They kept bitching.

They then called the manager over and tried to berate her into changing the channel. She gave in. They start taunting us. Another table gets up and leaves because of them. The manager comes over to tell us she's going to change the channel.

I look her in the eye, and say, "I'm very sorry you've been put in this position, and I recognize that we're in southern Louisiana, but we're customers, we've been polite, and that would be incredibly unfair."

She's clearly not used to these situations. Dave gently reminds her that we were here 45 minutes before the asshole LSU fans. At this point, the owner comes out. He's planning to change the channel until the waitress goes to the mat for us. She was seriously great. She had overheard everything, and she told the manager that the LSU fans had created the conflict and had been very rude.

Ultimately, he says, "Hey, LSU people, geaux Tigers, but they were here first. It's only fair. Call ahead next time."

They get pissed. Throw a hissy fit. Bitch and moan. Finally, the bitchy LSU chick running the show demands the bill and announces stridently to the entire bar area, "We're taking our business elsewhere."

Now here's the kicker. LSU-Auburn was obviously a huge game. It was on 2 other TV's in the place. It was on at roughly 1,000 (I'm not exaggerating) bars/restaurants in the metro New Orleans area. Why pick a fight like that? Why?

Had they been nice, or even asked, we would have moved to the bar, where the smaller TVs were. Instead they were combative, rude and out of line. I get that it was a huge game, and we wanted to watch it, too. And LSU had a tremendous victory over Auburn. I also get that we live in LSU country. But that doesn't relegate fellow college football fans and customers to second-tier status.

When people immediately go on the offensive like that, it just makes me dig in my heels. Case in point, right?

At the end of the night, we all apologized profusely to the owner, the manager and the kick-ass waitress. We also left a huge tip. She told us she was glad they left instead of us, because at least we weren't jerks.

So for those hopefully-exception-to-the-rule-jerkoff fans, I present some important bar patron rules:
  1. If you arrive late and have not called ahead, you don't get to butt ahead in line without express permission of those who got their before you.
  2. Don't chase off other customers and expect people to warm to your cause.
  3. Honey, vinegar, flies. You know the ol' saying.
  4. If a bar patron is wearing another team's shirt, and they are not your rival, don't be an ass. Chances are, they pay taxes in the same area as you, and they are also customers.
  5. Berating staff and management will not serve your cause, either. Please reference the film "Waiting" for additional information on this.
  6. Just living 60 minutes from a university does not create a universal standard of Tier 1 status for why your game should trump another (which in all fairness, was their logic - not that it was a huge match-up, but that LSU was closer than FSU.)

I'm not going to write about how perfect FSU fans are. We aren't. But we know better than to act like the Ugly American stereotype so many Europeans link to the U.S.

That said, even though FSU committed seven turnovers and exhibited atrocious playcalling and execution, I had a great time hanging out with the other 6 FSU fans there.

Also, because I'm not a jerkoff fan, congrats to LSU for their hugely important win over Auburn.

One more murder in this town...

What will it take for the city to seriously recognize the problem in the 1900 block of Amelia?

Another dead high school student?

Friday, September 19, 2008

Unintentionally funny video on

I'm pretty sure that much like this kid, poor Adam will never live this down.

It's on the front page of right now, and I just can't stop cracking up.

Dating advice to the ladies out there:

  1. Do NOT make a video for public consumption celebrating your one month of blissful infatuation. Crap like that generally will come back to bite you in the behind.
  2. But if you be clingy, at least do so using the correct pronoun when you publicly proclaim your love for Adam - example: "You're my world, baby!" Not your.
  3. If you respect Adam's dignity, you must realize that posting 14,000 shirtless pictures of Adam in your video will cause Adam's friends to rip him a new one repeatedly for the rest of his life. He could cure cancer, and his friends would still remind him of his beefcake pictures in your one-month dating video.
  4. I reaaaaaaaaaaally hope Adam likes N'Sync. See above.
  5. Do your parents know that you kissed Adam on August 27, 2008, thus rendering him your soulmate?
  6. Wait, given that date, have you guys skipped through a space/time continuum to make it through an entire month? Most impressive.

I know I'm being a tad mean, but the unintentional hilarity struck me harder than Paris Hilton's earnest attempts to be a respected thespian.

To My Boyfriend Adam

Joey Frickin' Heisman?

Something tells me that something happened to Brees or Brunell in practice this week.

That's the only reason the Saints would have signed Joey Harrington.

This guy has the amazing nine lives-style of Brian Griese. Despite his innate mediocrity, he always manages to land on a roster somewhere.

Also of note is that the Saints are very reluctant to release news on injuries - no one knew the real story about Colston until practically after the man had already had surgery.

So who got hurt? Brees or Brunell?

More importantly, as my good friend and fellow Saints fan CD asks, can Joey Harrington play DB?

Kicking off Friday on a happy note!

D. and I went to the Sugar Bowl Committee's kickoff cocktail shindig last night at the Superdome.

(I even got to exchange pleasantries with Archie Manning. ZOMG. I'm amazed I didn't pull a Wayne-and-Garth.)

As usual, the food and drink and setting were gawkworthy. D. developed an insatiable craving for the crabcakes that were being fried up on the field, and I was content to nurse my merlot and engage in a favorite past time of mine - peoplewatching.

But what we truly gawked at was the Committee's presentation to the NOPD of a Sky Watch. And yes, they do look quite a bit like the Imperial Walkers from "The Empire Strikes Back." (I think there's one in the Home Depot parking lot on Earhart, actually.)

That's not the funny part.

Not by a long shot.

So as the Committee was making the presentation, the fog machine kicked in and dramatic Empire-esque music started swelling throughout the Dome.

I swear I saw Ted Lewis from the Times-Picayune snickering.

So the Sky Watch started to rise slowly through the fog. There, inside the module, sat Warren Riley. Flanking the Sky Watch on either side, though?

The only reasonable choice for a party attended by local officials has to be models hired to dress as sexy cops, right? Hereafter they shall be referred to as the "stripper cops."

(Way to improve credibility in a room where reps from all of the major NCAA conferences, All State and various NOLA hoi polloi are located. Sigh.)

Amazingly, the stripper cops were dressed in blue shirts and black skirts - wait a sec, I thought wearing a blue shirt could get an NOPD officer suspended?

Maybe they make exceptions for extras off the set of a Skinemax flick. Hmmm. Must ponder.
Either way, minus that bizarre interlude, it was a great party that definitely kicked off the Sugar Bowl's 75th Anniversary with panache.

I'm just glad I wore low heels, since we were walking on Tulane's rolled-out turf. ;)

On to the last night I suddenly started craving the Breeders, the underrated Kim Deal-led band that rose from the ashes of the break up of the terribly underrated Pixies.

Man, I REALLY loved "Safari" and "Last Splash." Still do, in fact. I dare you to listen to "Divine Hammer" or "Saints" and not catch yourself humming them later. Plus, it's just a known fact that "Cannonball" is the only song about the Marquis de Sade to ever get insane amounts of airplay on MTV...

...y'know, back when they actually played videos.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

OK, it's set: Florida State vs. Wake Forest, NOLA styley.

OK, Seminole fans - I know FSU's alumni club has been defunct in New Orleans since Katrina, and frankly, it's been a struggle to revive it (between work and the lack of alumni still living in the area/out-of-date contact info for alums).

But at the very least, we can manage a game watch for the FSU-Wake Forest game.

It was a challenge to identify a venue. I mean, NOLA has many virtues - but a quality selection of sports bars is not among them.

The luminous NOLACleophatra came to our rescue. A fellow Nole, she suggested we get off the beaten path and away from the Fat Harry's and Cooter Brown's of the world. We need beer, we need food, and we need it away from the LSU game, right?

So here are the details of our game watch - come one, come all. We will drown our sorrows (joys?) in Abita and buckets of boiled crawfish.

What: FSU vs. Wake Forest
When: Saturday at 6:00 p.m.
Where: Big Al's Seafood (1377 Annunciation St., New Orleans, LA 70130)

See y'all then! E-mail me for more information.


A Tale of Two Jasons

The wrong Jason was released from the Saints roster today.

I'm just sayin'.

Any interest in an FSU game watching soiree this weekend?

We are, after all, playing Wake.

Thoughts? Ruminations? Smack?


Stupid stomach bug.

Stupid exhaustion.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Kicking off Friday on a happy note!

It's much easier to cheer up now that my college roommate has evacuated Galveston.

Last night, when we thought she was going to ride out Ike, my sleep wasn't very restful.

Thank God she's safe.

On to the favorite band, who is headlining Voodoo this year:

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

To tan or not to tan?

So my brother's favorite hobby (apart from destroying watermelons, that is) is to lay out by the pool at his apartment complex in Tallahassee whilst his remote-controlled robot serves him cranberry martinis with a twist of lime.

I kid you not.

Today I told him he is beginning to resemble fine Corinthian leather, just like George Hamilton.

Too harsh? ;)

Like chocolate, beer, and jewel thieves...

...the best adult diapers come from Europe."

Still crying from laughter's been a while since I've read anything quite as clever.
"I felt voluptuous."

Colston is out for 4-6 weeks.

Fantasy owners, it's time to take a fresh look at David Patten - he'll be our No. 1 receiver for the next few weeks.

Seriously, what will it take?

Are Nagin and his crony Riley so determined to ruin any chance for this city to rebuild and thrive?


My condolences to the family of this remarkable man.

It pisses me off that while other cities are able to use our crime rate against us when bidding for conferences/events, our city officials sit around with their thumbs up their proverbial posteriors. The DEA took a chance on our city by holding their conference here, and this is how we give thanks.


I'm sure they won't make the same mistake twice...and I'm also fairly sure that we will start to see the number of conferences in NOLA start to dwindle - with good reason.

Monday, September 8, 2008

He was our neighbor.

I hope his family knows that our neighborhood shares their grief at this act of violence.

We're okay after Gustav - happy to be home and not buying any groceries until after Ike.