Y'know, Scarlett...it should just be enough for you that you have pillowy soft cleavage and beautiful lips.
It's generally just NOT a good idea to attempt to emulate Tom Waits. Stick to your strengths, kiddo - an indie chanteuse ala Nico or Patti Smith you are not.
And it's entirely possible that while attempting to be an indie chanteuse, you just created the most pretentious video to ever sneer at YouTube audiences.
Yeah, it's that bad.
Or, as our friend Ross notes, "She just needs to shut up and wear low-cut tops."
There you have it, folks - the Ross Devonport Quote of the Week.
Behold the awfulness:
P.S. GEAUX HORNETS! I know I'll be wearing my CP3 jersey on Saturday...!