In honor of today's snowfall, I present one of the greatest Christmas songs EVER:

Sweet baby Jeebus.

OJ is going away.

can Bill Jefferson be far behind?

Steven Seagal is a JPSO deputy?!?

I'd like to think Harry Lee is rolling over in his grave about this, but...

Move over Dog the Bounty Hunter!

There's going to be a new regulator on cable channel A&E.

Martial arts film star Steven Seagal will be starring in a reality show (called Steven Seagal: Lawman) on the net that will chronicle his little-known life in law enforcement.

According to reports, Segal has been working as a fully commissioned deputy with the Jefferson Parish Sheriff's Office in Louisiana for the past 20 years.

In addition to going out on patrol, the karate man is said to be an expert marksman who has worked with the Jefferson Parish SWAT team and has instructed officers in firearms and hand-to-hand combat.

Christ on a crouton, what's next? Nutrias on Ice?

One more murder in this town...

What will it take for the city to seriously recognize the problem in the 1900 block of Amelia?

Another dead high school student?

Happy Soggy Wednesday Time!

On a day as dreary as this (it's pouring out here in Metry), some moody, atmospheric music is ideal to cope, especially when you realize that it's gorgeously sunny uptown at the moment.

Here's "Touch Me I'm Going to Scream Part II," from My Morning Jacket:



Hey, it's less harmful to your health than an NOPD cop armed with a truck...

Holy heart attack!

D. is off gallivanting around Illinois with some of his family at the moment, while I am recovering from my four days of playing Aunt Cait to my two teenaged nieces.

So this morning D. woke up and checked the front page of NOLA.com, where he promptly saw the headline, "Greater St. Stephen burns down."

He called me, in shock, to relay the news, thinking that the church where we are slated to marry is now smoldering rubble. I immediately freaked out and click on the story, only to find that...






...it's a different church.

Hmm, so it's because of "restructuring."

Loomis went on record to indicate the Mueller's actual position was eliminated in a massive overhaul of the Saints administration.

Riiiiiiiiiiight.

The Saints fired Rick Mueller.

WTH?

http://www.sportsline.com/nfl/story/10853544

Seriously?

It's good to know that my old stomping ground of Broward County is using taxpayer money for worthy causes...like seceding from Florida.

From the City of Margate's official press release on the topic:

The North Lauderdale City Commission passed a resolution requesting that Florida be divided into two States…North Florida and South Florida with the boundary line from Palm Beach County down through Monroe County and is encouraging Palm Beach, Broward, Dade and Monroe Counties to join in the quest for a separation of the State of Florida.

“This has been going on far too long. We are here trying to give good service to our residents at the cheapest possible costs and we keep getting hammered by the State Legislatures,” Mayor Jack Brady said. “We believe South Florida has many different issues than those in North and Central Florida and yet we all get put into the same frying pan together….local officials are the closest to the people and we have to do what is right for our citizens.”

Florida has grown from a thinly populated rural state to the fourth most populous state of the United States. Population estimated to be nearly 19 million. The State of Florida has also grown from two initial counties to that of sixty-seven counties of which the most populous and urban are the three counties of Miami- Dade, Broward and Palm Beach. Southeast Florida contributes more tax revenue to the State of Florida than it receives from the present State government. These counties being the most populated have requirements for conducting their affairs that are different and often times more intense than other portions of the State. Florida is too varied for this one-size fits all approach to cities and counties.

In recent years, the Legislature of the State of Florida has considered a number of proposals that have had a significant adverse impact on local governments’ ability to generate revenue and effectively perform their essential municipal functions with many of these initiatives resulting in a local government regression whereby as a direct result of legislative action certain counties and municipalities are becoming increasingly unable to perform essential public services.

During a recent visit to Tallahassee as part of the Broward Days lobbying, North Lauderdale Commissioner Rich Moyle told Legislators, “last year you beat our cities up and this year you are stealing our lunch money. How are we supposed to run our cities?” The question…Moyle said, mostly fell on deaf ears.

The Declaration of Independence of the United States provides that when any form of government becomes destructive to the extent that it no longer has the consent of the people governed, it is the right of the people to alter or abolish said government and institute a new government based on the foundation in which the people seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness and given the size of the State and the great differences in needs and priorities between the southern portion of the State and the northern portion of the State, the North Lauderdale City Commission has determined that it is in the best interests of the citizens and residents of the State to divide the State into two separate and distinct governing entities.

Wow...that's a spectacular use of logic and time. Well done, good sirs and madams. Ross and I were just chatting on IM about this magnificient idea:

Ross: How about just calling South Florida North Havana instead?
Me: Or Old York?

OLGC has one ferosh advocate in Poppy Z. Brite.

God bless this woman - she's an articulate and passionate advocate for OLGC. I'm not sure her words will make any difference to the archdiocese, but still, I'm so glad she's championing this cause. It's an important one to anyone who has ever worshipped in a place that feels like home to your soul.

Poppy Z. Brite decries Uptown church closing

Best. Headline. EVER.

From NOLA.com, yesterday, and in this morning's T-P:

Senate panel approves bill allowing castration for sex offenders

Suddenly I feel as though I'm living in biblical times.

So today's the day.

Today's the day the archdiocese tells our parish officially that we're closing. :(

There's a rally, as NOLACleophatra very rightly noted, at OLGC today at 11:15 - if I could leave work and go, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

Your Friendly NOLA Sports Update

So yay, the Hornets are still atop the Western Conference and facing the Warriors today--they're looking to make it five-in-a-row. They hit their playoff bid earlier this week and can now safely cruise for the next 8 games...so why isn't CP3 a safe bet for MVP?

Hmm...

The VooDoo won last night - they beat the AFL defending champions, the SaberCats, and now sit comfortably on top of their division. Clevan Thomas, who played DB at FSU while I was in Tallahassee, plays for the 'Cats - as does former UM WR Jason Geathers. I took some pics for NOLA.com - you can see them here.

In awful news, it looks like my parish church is closing. :(

Kicking off Friday on a happy note!

Yes, well, D. evidently gave me the plague, so I'm recovering from that before Monday's work on the set of "12 Rounds" and Tuesday's trip to court with Mom to meet with the state's attorney about the schmuck who robbed her.

In completely odd news, it was announced today on NOLA.com that odd couple Mary Matalin and James Carville are relocating their family to uptown New Orleans this summer. Welcome to the madhouse, and please, keep us in the forefront of positive media about the recovery of this city. Gracias.

FSU folks, I've gotten the go-ahead from the alumni association. Please send me your e-mail addresses and phone numbers if you are interested in helping me set up a bad-ass NOLA Seminole Club. My e-mail address is listed in the column to the right of this blog. ;)

Today I'm feeling very Snow Patrolish. It's 78 degrees and sunny, and despite the fact that I'm running a fever and hacking up blood, I'm in a great mood.

Enjoy the Gary Lightbody hotness. (I know I do.)

In the news...

Things you do want to hear:

Better Than Ezra Donates To Fire Department

Things you most emphatically do not want to hear:

Bullet Bounces Off Chef Paul Prudhomme (Seriously? SERIOUSLY?! Who would shoot K-Paul?)

Things that make you go, "Oh no, she jus' di'int!":

Report: Jamie Lynn Spears, 16, Gets Engaged


In related news, Al Copeland's funeral will take place on Monday at Holy Name (next to Loyola). It remains to be seen whether or not his procession will pass by the abandoned Copeland's restaurant at Napoleon and St. Charles. Regardless, rest in peace, Mr. Copeland. What a sad way to pass on...

Oh my goodness...

A man was murdered a block and a half from our house.

I had wondered what was up with the crowd that had assembled. I never even heard the shot.

BAM!

I'm not sure how I feel about this:

Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia Inc. is bringing in a new celebrity: popular TV chef Emeril Lagasse.

The New York-based media and merchandising company founded by domesticity maven Martha Stewart announced Tuesday that it bought the rights to the Emeril Lagasse franchise of cookbooks, television shows and kitchen products for $45 million in cash and $5 million in stock at closing.

I think I'm scared. Very, very scared.

And to bastardize Martha's catchphrase - that's (not) a good thing...kinda like Raul Castro taking over Cuba.

Quote of the Day

"Ray Nagin reminds me of Billy Dee Williams in 'Batman.' No, really."

-D.

That's funny, Mayor Nagin reminds me of an untruthful bureaucrat.

(I was going for euphemism there. Did it work?)

Right Hand Thief has a blistering post on the Good Neighbors Program from over the weekend.

Spies Like Us

D. and I generally walk Jake a couple of miles every night - and tonight we adjusted our route to take us past the corner of Baronne and Bordeaux, the scene of today's FBI raid.

Oh yeah...we totally went by the Spy House. We are that lame...

(...and yes, very curious, too.)

WDSU was still on the scene, as was an FBI spokeswoman. D. lamented not having brought his camera, and Jake took the opportunity to pee on a light pole across the street.

Naturally, the FBI agent turned towards us, narrowed (we think) her eyes, shook her head at Jake's lifted leg, and turned back to the crew from WDSU.

All in all, it's surreal to think that just 7/10 of a mile from our cozy little abode, espionage was being processed for the People's Republic of China.

Federal investigators said a local businessman, Tai Shen Kuo, 58, a longtime resident of Houma who had moved to New Orleans, was the point person who cultivated a relationship with the Defense Department employee. Yu Xin Kang, 33, a Chinese citizen who arrived in the city last fall, functioned as a "cut out," or intermediary, between Kuo and a Chinese government official.

How very Julius and Ethel Rosenberg of them...(though, to be fair, no one is talking about anything more dire than life in prison for those involved in the PRC case)...

As Ted "Theodore" Logan, Esq. would note, "Strange things are afoot at the Circle K."

(Or in uptown New Orleans...dude.)

Photo shamelessly borrowed from the T-P/NOLA.com

Fleur de Conspiracy?

Innnnnnnnteresting.

I wondered what all the hubbub was about this morning.