Dude. I require this.

From Woot, and alas, already sold out, I present a marshmallow shooter.

Not only marketed with the clever "Full Mallow Jacket" key messaging, this weaponry is ideal for annoying Auburn boosters, who are currently patting themselves on the back for firing one of the best coaches in Division 1 football.

Bobby Lowder, I'm looking at you.

Riddle me this...

How is Myron Rolle, who is an A student in a master's program and a newly minted Rhodes Scholar, a second-team Academic All-American, while Tim Tebow, who has a less impressive GPA in his Family/Life Studies (what IS that, anyway?) degree program, a first-teamer?

As D. put it, "It's troubling."

I suppose that while Myron Rolle is off discovering a cure for Alzheimer's at Oxford, we'll learn that Tebow can, in fact, walk on water and feed the masses.

ESPN, you suck.

NOLEY NOLEY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLES!

It's been a joyous day.

Myron Rolle is a Rhodes Scholar.

FSU kept its ACC hopes alive in a BIG, BIG way, defeating Maryland in a chilly road game.

And then someone told me this would be our wedding gift, and I was most pleased.



Anyone in for a game watch next week against the much-vaunted, Citadel-destroying TeHarvins of UF?

P.S. Prospect 1 has been a BLAST.

Myron Rolle. Wow.

Just a link roll here, folks:

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/sportsline/main11098557.shtml

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/writers/stewart_mandel/11/12/mailbag/1.html

Yeah, this kid is pretty awesome. I'm glad he's a Nole.

In heaven there is no beer.

That's why we drink it here.

D. and I ventured over to Deutsches Haus on Saturday night after FSU hung on to beat Miami and K-State lost to Texas Tech.

Once we entered the building, he was in his element, surrounded by other lanky, pale people who likewise enjoyed singing songs about saw horses and eating sausages.

Ah yes, D. was among his people.

We drank Paulaner, danced the chicken dance and bellowed along to "Ja, das ist eine Schnitzel Bank" repeatedly.

And we had a blast - unfortunately, that means I fell off the weight loss wagon, so I'm trying to climb back on again this week.

I made several strudels last night - here's a relatively healthy recipe:

Apple Strudel

(makes 2, serves 12-16)

5 tart apples (peeled, cored and sliced)

1 tablespoon grated lemon rind

Juice of 1 lemon

3/4 cup Splenda

2 teaspoons cinnamon

3/4 cup almonds, ground (pecans work well, too)

8 ounces phyllo pastry, 1/2 box,thawed

1 cup margarine, melted

1 cup whole-wheat breadcrumbs, finely crushed

Mix apples with lemon, lemon rind, sugar, cinnamon, and almonds. Set aside. Heat a couple of tablespoons of the melted margarine in a skillet over medium heat - stir in the breadcrumbs until crispy. Place 1 phyllo leaf on a sheet of wax paper and brush with melted margarine. Place a second leaf on top and repeat. Repeat until 6-7 leaves have been used, using about 1/2 cup of margarine.

Sprinkle 3/4 cup crumbs on the layered dough. Mound 1/2 of the filling in a 3-inch strip along the narrow end of the fillo, leaving a 2-inch border. Lift wax paper, using it to roll leaves over apples, jelly roll style. Brush top of the strudel with margarine and sprinkle with 2 T crumbs. Repeat the entire procedure for the second strudel. Bake the strudels (make sure the pan you use has sides, or the margarine will drip over the sides) at 400 degrees for 20-25 minutes, until browned.

SAVE THE HAUS!

Kicking Friday off on a happy note...

GO SEMINOLES!

In honor of Miami Week...

May I present...



GEAUX NOLES!

(This, um, assumes, more consistency from behind center.)

FSU, LSU and awful fans.

On Saturday night, D. and I trekked over to Big Al's Seafood, where we met up with other Noles, including the wonderfully witty NOLACleophatra and Your Right Hand Thief.

I'd wager that we had a great little group going on. We showed up early, and we had called ahead.

Mind you, LSU has a fantastic football team. I've also never had a problem with any LSU football fans - but I'm about to relate the exception to the rule.

So here's what happened.

We started watching the game when four LSU fans came in and started rudely telling me to enjoy the game while I could, because they'd make sure it got changed to the LSU game when it started. So then I told them very calmly, look, I appreciate your position, but we set it up several days ago, and we were here early.

They told me that if I wanted to watch some lame game in LSU country, I should just go the eff back to Florida, where I belong. That's the nicest thing they said the entire time, actually.

I said, "That's really rude and uncalled for."

Them: "Well, FSU sucks." They kept bitching.

They then called the manager over and tried to berate her into changing the channel. She gave in. They start taunting us. Another table gets up and leaves because of them. The manager comes over to tell us she's going to change the channel.

I look her in the eye, and say, "I'm very sorry you've been put in this position, and I recognize that we're in southern Louisiana, but we're customers, we've been polite, and that would be incredibly unfair."

She's clearly not used to these situations. Dave gently reminds her that we were here 45 minutes before the asshole LSU fans. At this point, the owner comes out. He's planning to change the channel until the waitress goes to the mat for us. She was seriously great. She had overheard everything, and she told the manager that the LSU fans had created the conflict and had been very rude.

Ultimately, he says, "Hey, LSU people, geaux Tigers, but they were here first. It's only fair. Call ahead next time."

They get pissed. Throw a hissy fit. Bitch and moan. Finally, the bitchy LSU chick running the show demands the bill and announces stridently to the entire bar area, "We're taking our business elsewhere."

Now here's the kicker. LSU-Auburn was obviously a huge game. It was on 2 other TV's in the place. It was on at roughly 1,000 (I'm not exaggerating) bars/restaurants in the metro New Orleans area. Why pick a fight like that? Why?

Had they been nice, or even asked, we would have moved to the bar, where the smaller TVs were. Instead they were combative, rude and out of line. I get that it was a huge game, and we wanted to watch it, too. And LSU had a tremendous victory over Auburn. I also get that we live in LSU country. But that doesn't relegate fellow college football fans and customers to second-tier status.

When people immediately go on the offensive like that, it just makes me dig in my heels. Case in point, right?

At the end of the night, we all apologized profusely to the owner, the manager and the kick-ass waitress. We also left a huge tip. She told us she was glad they left instead of us, because at least we weren't jerks.

So for those hopefully-exception-to-the-rule-jerkoff fans, I present some important bar patron rules:

1. If you arrive late and have not called ahead, you don't get to butt ahead in line without express permission of those who got their before you.
2. Don't chase off other customers and expect people to warm to your cause.
3. Honey, vinegar, flies. You know the ol' saying.
4. If a bar patron is wearing another team's shirt, and they are not your rival, don't be an ass. Chances are, they pay taxes in the same area as you, and they are also customers.
5. Berating staff and management will not serve your cause, either. Please reference the film "Waiting" for additional information on this.
6. Just living 60 minutes from a university does not create a universal standard of Tier 1 status for why your game should trump another (which in all fairness, was their logic - not that it was a huge match-up, but that LSU was closer than FSU.)

I'm not going to write about how perfect FSU fans are. We aren't. But we know better than to act like the Ugly American stereotype so many Europeans link to the U.S.

That said, even though FSU committed seven turnovers and exhibited atrocious playcalling and execution, I had a great time hanging out with the other 6 FSU fans there.

Also, because I'm not a jerkoff fan, congrats to LSU for their hugely important win over Auburn.

Kicking off Friday on a happy note!

D. and I went to the Sugar Bowl Committee's kickoff cocktail shindig last night at the Superdome.

(I even got to exchange pleasantries with Archie Manning. ZOMG. I'm amazed I didn't pull a Wayne-and-Garth.)

As usual, the food and drink and setting were gawkworthy. D. developed an insatiable craving for the crabcakes that were being fried up on the field, and I was content to nurse my merlot and engage in a favorite past time of mine - peoplewatching.

But what we truly gawked at was the Committee's presentation to the NOPD of a Sky Watch. And yes, they do look quite a bit like the Imperial Walkers from "The Empire Strikes Back." (I think there's one in the Home Depot parking lot on Earhart, actually.)

That's not the funny part.

Not by a long shot.

So as the Committee was making the presentation, the fog machine kicked in and dramatic Empire-esque music started swelling throughout the Dome.

I swear I saw Ted Lewis from the Times-Picayune snickering.

So the Sky Watch started to rise slowly through the fog. There, inside the module, sat Warren Riley. Flanking the Sky Watch on either side, though?

The only reasonable choice for a party attended by local officials has to be models hired to dress as sexy cops, right? Hereafter they shall be referred to as the "stripper cops."

(Way to improve credibility in a room where reps from all of the major NCAA conferences, All State and various NOLA hoi polloi are located. Sigh.)

Amazingly, the stripper cops were dressed in blue shirts and black skirts - wait a sec, I thought wearing a blue shirt could get an NOPD officer suspended?

Maybe they make exceptions for extras off the set of a Skinemax flick. Hmmm. Must ponder.

Either way, minus that bizarre interlude, it was a great party that definitely kicked off the Sugar Bowl's 75th Anniversary with panache.

I'm just glad I wore low heels, since we were walking on Tulane's rolled-out turf. ;)

On to the music...so last night I suddenly started craving the Breeders, the underrated Kim Deal-led band that rose from the ashes of the break up of the terribly underrated Pixies.

Man, I REALLY loved "Safari" and "Last Splash." Still do, in fact. I dare you to listen to "Divine Hammer" or "Saints" and not catch yourself humming them later. Plus, it's just a known fact that "Cannonball" is the only song about the Marquis de Sade to ever get insane amounts of airplay on MTV...

...y'know, back when they actually played videos.

OK, it's set: Florida State vs. Wake Forest, NOLA styley.

OK, Seminole fans - I know FSU's alumni club has been defunct in New Orleans since Katrina, and frankly, it's been a struggle to revive it (between work and the lack of alumni still living in the area/out-of-date contact info for alums).

But at the very least, we can manage a game watch for the FSU-Wake Forest game.

It was a challenge to identify a venue. I mean, NOLA has many virtues - but a quality selection of sports bars is not among them.

The luminous NOLACleophatra came to our rescue. A fellow Nole, she suggested we get off the beaten path and away from the Fat Harry's and Cooter Brown's of the world. We need beer, we need food, and we need it away from the LSU game, right?

So here are the details of our game watch - come one, come all. We will drown our sorrows (joys?) in Abita and buckets of boiled crawfish.

What: FSU vs. Wake Forest
When: Saturday at 6:00 p.m.
Where: Big Al's Seafood (1377 Annunciation St., New Orleans, LA 70130)

See y'all then! E-mail me for more information.

GEAUX NOLES!

Any interest in an FSU game watching soiree this weekend?

We are, after all, playing Wake.

Thoughts? Ruminations? Smack?

The Bobby Speaks.

This is a fabulous distraction from the oil fumes coating the city and its environs at the moment...



Yet another distraction? Saints training camp begins today. And Colston is there!

Urban Legend?

It would appear that even Gatorphilic Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel is carefully mincing his words about Urban Meyer.

It's long been rumored that Meyer has been a shady recruiter - but now he's being investigated for it...because he apparently recruited a gymnast so that her boyfriend would sign with UF football.

Ouch. I'm pretty sure that's against the rules, Urbie.

So, yay...

...bowl season has ended. I adore college football season, and am generally sad to see it end in January, but at the moment I'm just relieved that I get my boyfriend back temporarily.

I never thought I'd be a sports widow - heck, I love sports, and do not generally complain about watching football, baseball, basketball, hockey, etc.

But as D. tiredly fell into bed at 2:30 this morning after coming home from the national championship game, all I could think, as I snuggled into him and went back to sleep, was - "Whew. It's over...at least for a few moments."

I did learn a few things last night:

-Kevin's a gracious host (and such a diehard Buckeye that his living room decor is inextricably linked to the fortunes of Ohio State sports).
-Dennis Dodd is most definitely a jackass. (True story.)
-Urban Meyer needs to stop visiting Mystic Tan.
-LSU's confidence is something, isn't it?
-D.'s totally right - Ohio State has become the Buffalo Bills...almost there, but never quite managing to make it work.
-6 murders in NOLA already this year? Yeesh.
-It's going to be a long, long trip to Hobbs, New Mexico - 16 hours, to be semi-precise. I hope D.'s sister won't mind our incessantly offkey singing and bizarre conversational stylings. I wonder if I have time to hit up a bookstore and make some mix CD's...?
-Our dog is apparently sensitive to aspirin. Hmmm. Must remember to buy enteric-coated aspirin next time. Then again, Jake's stomach is sensitive to everything except pricey dog food, Greenies, organic dog treats and trash. Yes. TRASH.

Anyhow, tonight is the long-awaited Date Night. Tonight, after what may be the. Most. Expensive. Haircut. Ever.* we will make our champagne risotto, seared scallops and roasted asparagus, and exhale deeply. Tonight at least, we can shut out the world and relax.

*So yeah, that haircut? I love Paris Parker, and desperately want to get my hair cut before we leave for New Mexico - it's been 3 months since my last trim, and I resemble an awkward 12 year-old. Given that I work in St. Rose, there aren't so many options for my hair out here. Paris Parker only had one stylist working late this week, and he just happens to be their "best." When I was told how much it would cost, I asked the the receptionist wryly if my haircut would be a life-changing event. She replied, without a trace of irony and more than a dollop of fervent zealousness, "Oh yes. Yes, yes. He's amazing."

So I'm expecting to roll out of there looking like Heidi Klum. Heh.

Putting those tourism dollars to work...

Dave just e-mailed me a pic taken from the offices of NOLA.com a little while ago - check out the line of tourists waiting to eat at Mother's!

(Please also note the prevalent purple and scarlet - think some LSU and Ohio State fans are going to fight over a Ferdie Special?)

Sigh.

Merry Christmas, Jimbo Fisher -

Please don't put me through this again next year, k? Go Noles!

Love,
Cait

Payton to Michigan??

Detroit media outlets are reporting that the University of Michigan is courting Saints coach Sean Payton. (Don't worry, I'm pretty sure they're just grasping at straws now.)

Here's what I don't get - if you KNOW you're going to force out your coach (Lloyd Carr), why on earth wouldn't you have an airtight succession plan (sorry 'bout Les Miles)?

The same question applies to Arkansas - your coach led you to the SEC championship game last season, and beat LSU this season. Yet you still forced him out, and when your initial plan to hire Jimbo Fisher failed, you floundered.

If you're so confident in your decision to pursue another coach, you'd better be prepared to make them an attractive offer, and one that involves stability.

The coaching carousel has reached an untenable position, and coaches are wary of jumping ship without a safety net of some kind, whether it's to go to a school with an unreasonable A.D. (::cough::ARKANSAS::cough::) or to a school with unrealistic expectations (Bama, anyone?).

As a good friend of mine puts it:

I'm laughing because apparently they were ready to fire Houston Nutt for months, but they don't seem to have a strategy in place to hire the new guy. Most schools in their situation have their main guy, and a back up plan.

Tommy Bowden was about option 5, and he backed out. Seems like a major cluster up there, and they don't seem prepared at all. Also, even if Nutt had as many issues and had pissed off as many people up there as they claim, it's just bad business to fire a guy who coached you to the SEC championship game LAST YEAR, and just beat LSU in Baton Rouge who was #1 and now playing for the title.

Also, apparently how he was let go was really nasty, and that gets around the grapevine with other coaches.............Finally, from what I have heard from a couple of folks in Tallahassee, Arkansas was really intersted in Jimbo Fisher, but Fisher wasn't nearly as interested, given some of the factors listed above. It's also likely why Tommy Bowden got cold feet.

Apparently Arky isn't a great working enviroment, and Broyles isn't a fun guy to work for..................

Ohio State vs...

LSU, a 2-loss team who won an emotional, gritty SEC championship with Flynn out?

Virginia Tech, who is hot recently?

Oklahoma, who manhandled Mizzou tonight?

Georgia, who streaked late in the season?

USC, who won the PAC-10 today against UCLA?

Kansas, who only has one loss?

I think...the nod has to go to either LSU or Oklahoma.

Hang on a sec, folks - here's my rationale:

• While I admit to being an ACC gal, the SEC was stronger than the PAC-10, the Big 12 or the ACC this year.
• LSU and Oklahoma won their conferences. KU and UGA did not.
• LSU utterly destroyed Virginia Tech in their meeting on September 8th. So if the voters are considering the head-to-head in their poll votes tonight, LSU has the decided edge.
• Oklahoma beat the number 1 team in the nation tonight (whether or not that ranking was deserved, OU was also the favorite according to odds-makers...so take that as you will).

So as my better half puts it, we'll know in the morning, right? If we see LSU ranked second in the polls, we'll have a pretty good idea what the BCS will do.

For now, we can all shake our heads at WVU and wonder about what could have been had the Mountaineers overcome White's injury tonight in the Backyard Brawl. And then there's the matter of Hawaii's struggle with UW tonight...thoughts?

P.S. How genius was it for Les Miles to announce that he was staying at LSU BEFORE the SEC championship? Not only did he fire up his players, but he managed to fashion himself a bit of an SEC folk hero for turning down his dream job. I'd speculate that the departure of his defensive coordinator to Nebraska and LSU's reportedly swank offer to him impacted that fiery little call-out of ESPN this morning...or maybe I'm just cynical?

The BCS is imploding.

I'm enjoying this thoroughly.

Was Sean Taylor targeted for death?

Friends say yes, police say no.

Contrary to initial reports in the Miami Herald, the phone lines at Taylor's posh Palmetto Bay home were not cut, and the alarm system was not disabled.

Childhood friends like Antrel Rolle insist that Taylor's decision to slow his personal life down and become a family man created enemies.

Police counter with evidence that this might have just been a botched robbery.

Currently, 3 people are being detained in Ft. Myers, across Alligator Alley from Miami, for questioning about Taylor's death.

So the real question is - was the house the target? Or was Sean Taylor a marked man?

On one hand, Taylor definitely had enemies. Before the birth of his daughter, Jackie, his temper was somewhat notorious (yep, he was a hot-head). However, he wasn't supposed to be home the weekend he was shot, and had he been in Washington, D.C., his fiancee and daughter would not have been in the house - it would have been empty, just as it was when it was broken into 8 days earlier. Could he have surprised would-be burglars, who shot him out of sheer nerves?

Of only slightly less importance is the chilling reminder that to date, no one has been charged in the execution-style murder of Bryan Pata.

Either way, whether in death we canonize Taylor or revile him for his faults, we must remember one very important thing - when push came to shove, he did his best to protect his family. He had his fiancee and daughter hide while he confronted the intruder(s). He put his family's safety above his own.

So really, doesn't that tell us a lot of what we really need to know about Sean Taylor's character and priorities?

Yes. It does.

Random side note - did you know that Sean Taylor's fiancee is the niece of Andy Garcia? Or that once again, the Miami Curse is rearing its oh-so-trite head?

A UM fan posted this on CaneSport yesterday afternoon - it's a sweet tribute to a young man who died too young to ever fulfill his potential as a father, husband and athlete.