Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Hello, my name is Dean, and I'd like to sell you a new TV.

Looks like Dean is heading towards Texas, but as an almost native southerner I know that one Dean will spawn at least 2-3 other lamely named storms.

That said, I think D. and I need to increase our kitchen stockpile - we'll need some batteries, candles, bottled water and charcoal. Apart from that, I think we're set.

(And yes, we already have an evacuation plan should something come bearing down on the city. Mom lives 200 miles east, on VERY high ground - a cliff above Escambia Bay - and she has a $12,000 natural gas generator.)

All serious hurricane planning aside, who comes up with these names? Who in their right mind would take seriously a storm named Dean? Or Frances? Or Cindy?

Hurricane names are just so incongruous with the nature of the storm. Hurricanes are chaotically destructive forces of nature...named Bob.

I propose a new naming system - a system that requires the NHC to issue monikers designed to strike fear into the heart of the average American dealing with the Atlantic Hurricane Season. Here are some sample names:

-Ebola
-Rasputin
-Ted Bundy
-Woodchipper
-Flesh-eating Bacteria
-Josef Stalin
-Steve Spurrier
-Nick Saban
-Osama bin Laden

Now Dave the Banker rightfully points that media coverage of people fleeing Ebola's path in New Orleans could be easily miscontrued...thoughts? What would you name a bevy of storms?

2 comments:

Rebecca said...

A few more for your list:

- Michael Vick
- Hillary Clinton
- PMS
- Barry Bonds

Sarcasm Abounds said...

I would offer that I would flee from my home if these storms were named afer Sopranos characters.

"Paulie Walnuts has reached category 4, and he's headed your way... he's destroying everything in his path"

I am so out of there.