Thursday, December 13, 2007

America's Most Smartest NFL Player

D. has suggested a great spinoff to my Project NFL proposal. Behold - America's Most Smartest Football Player! (America's Most Smartest Model is our requisite Sunday night guilty pleasure - we NEVER miss an episode.)

I can see it now...

The not-so-smart guys:
Joey Harrington (best known for the luckiest breaks in the NFL and an ill-considered Heisman billboard in Times Square)
Gus Frerotte (best known for being pretty and falling down repeatedly)
Terrell Owens (c'mon, do I really have to elaborate?)
Ricky Williams (if he can put the bong down long enough to participate, that is)
Chris Hanson (best known as the punter who chopped his own foot off in the locker room)
Onterrio Smith ("The Original Whizzinator")
Chris Henry (uh...will this affect his probation?)
Sebastian Janikowski (one of my neighbors in college - not so bright, that one)
Bam Morris (Wonderlic + driving around with a trunkful of marijuana = smart!)
Jared Allen ('s all about meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...)
Kellen Winslow, Jr. (This "soulja" has made some incredibly embarrassing - and PUBLIC - gaffes in his NFL career.)

Some ringers:
Peyton Manning (any guy who can make SNL intentionally funny has to be clever)
Derrick Brooks (future AD at FSU, perhaps, once his Hall of Fame-ish career ends)
Drew Brees (okay, yes, I'm biased - but Purdue is no walk in the park)
Jason Taylor (the huge robot in London? Not his fault.)
Warrick Dunn (gives Brees a run for his money with intelligent philanthropy)

Adam "Pacman" Jones (again, do I really to explain why?)
Michael Vick (Woof.)
Michael Irvin ("Uh...that was my friend's crack pipe.")

Chad Johnson could serve as emcee...and the possibilities? Well...they're endless. Gripping television, I'm telling you.

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