Happy fun Wednesday time!

Y'know, Scarlett...it should just be enough for you that you have pillowy soft cleavage and beautiful lips.

It's generally just NOT a good idea to attempt to emulate Tom Waits. Stick to your strengths, kiddo - an indie chanteuse ala Nico or Patti Smith you are not.

And it's entirely possible that while attempting to be an indie chanteuse, you just created the most pretentious video to ever sneer at YouTube audiences.

Yeah, it's that bad.

::involuntary shudder::

Or, as our friend Ross notes, "She just needs to shut up and wear low-cut tops."

There you have it, folks - the Ross Devonport Quote of the Week.

Behold the awfulness:



P.S. GEAUX HORNETS! I know I'll be wearing my CP3 jersey on Saturday...!

Ooooh.

This is funny right here; I don't care who you are. (Kudos to this guy for producing this.)

"Frustration: if you know you can't win, go break somebody's neck."

Here's looking at you, Jason Kidd. Perhaps you mistook Pargo for your wife?

(Ooooh, snap.)

Jason Kidd tried to kill Jannero Pargo in the face.

I kid you not.

What a punk.

So we set a date.

In the midst of watching the draft and dealing with the Jazz Fest traffic, D. and I have set our wedding date!

(Prepare for the nausea to begin.)

Admittedly, some of the giddiness has worn off - I mean, at some point we have to figure out how to pay for this blessed event without mortgaging off our firstborn into indentured servitude.

(Any thoughts and advice would be greatly appreciated.)

It's Jazz Fest Sunday, and it's still raining. D. and I took a walk in the rain this afternoon after I returned from a work event at the Aubudon Tea Room. Best of all, we told Father Pat at OLGC about our engagement, and I'm due to set an appointment with him to go through what we need to do to marry within the church (whether it's OLGC or St. Stephen's).

But hey, the draft went well for the Saints (and even better for the Chiefs, who shamelessly ripped off our warchant before each first round pick), and it's festival season.

Damn, life is good...assuming you're not living in the Seventh Ward this weekend.

Aha, so it's NOT just us.

Shootings hit a nasty high in Chicago over the weekend, too.

You know you're really engaged when...

...you both change your ringtone on your cell phones to Europe's "The Final Countdown."

On a sobering note - what the heck was with all of the shootings this past weekend?

And can someone explain to me WHY Coach K picked Jason Kidd over Chris Paul for the Olympic basketball team? I mean, has he SEEN the matchup?

I wonder if he watched Saturday night's come-from-behind win over the Mavs. All I'm sayin' is - it reminded me of that Celtics game...which could be a great thing, or a disastrous thing.

We'll just have to see.

Kicking off Friday on a happy note!

My husband-to-be has me still in a puddle of mush, so there's nothing else I can post but the Old 97's gorgeous "Question."

"Someday somebody's gonna ask you a question that you should say "yes" to. Once in your life - maybe tonight - I've got a question for you."



Here's the studio version of the song, if you really want to hear the words:



Damn, I'm schmoopy today. ;)

I said yes.

He asked, and I said "yes." In fact, I'm pretty sure I said "yes" roughly 14 times in ten seconds.

Here we are five minutes later, with Bobby Bowden (oh, and David Castillo took the picture!).

::blissful sigh::

I'm going to be Mrs. D. How lucky am I? ;)

D. bought the ring a couple of months ago, and chose to wait until I had happy news -of which I've had a fair amount recently! When we got to Pensacola yesterday afternoon, he asked for Mom's blessing in person, and nervously waited (I guess) for that night.

Anyhow, we were at Rosie O'Grady's in Pensacola last night for Bobby Bowden's spring speaking tour. I'd been excited for months about Bobby Day, as I called it (but yes, Roxana, it's no Rex Manning Day).

Initially, I guess that he had hoped to get Coach Bowden to help with the proposal, but the last time Coach did, it ended disastrously, and he didn't want to get stuck in that kind of mess again. However, he did congratulate us - and I even ran into my old neighbor, Clay Ingram, a little bit later!

In the middle of the bar, D. stunned me as we were surrounded by a crowd of 300 FSU fans and our friends Thornton and Michal.

How could I not say yes?

Here's how D. remembers it, since I was in major shock (I couldn't stop shaking for about an hour.):

[Cait's friend] Thorny provided me a great lead-in. See, I really wanted it to shock the hell out of her, so I thought it would be awesome if I set her up by having someone ask about when we were going to get married. We had gotten that question a lot, and were both pretty tired of answering it, so I thought it wouldn't be too conspicuous if it came up again.

So Thorny asked what the deal was ... when was I going to pop the question?

I hemmed and hawed some, then I said I was tired of that question. I said I was so sick of it, that maybe I should just go ahead and propose.

Cait thought I was kidding ... until I got down on one knee and pulled out her ring. I told her I loved her more than anything and that I would be honored if she would spend the rest of her life with me. The whole time she was saying "yes" over and over again and nodding her head.

I think I had the ring box upside down and Thorny mentioned it, and Cait said something like "who cares!?!" At least that's the way I remembered it, but I was a little nervous.

FSU downs UF 4-2

That's right - FSU took this year's baseball series 2-1 tonight with a 4-2 win over the Gators.

It's Rivalry Week, which can only mean we're facing Miami this weekend - which makes us probably the most compelling matchup of the week.

Despite the evilness of Sun Sports and FSN (please see my previous post on said topic), a friend has hooked me up with an amazing opportunity to watch the FSU-UM series online.

(This of course means that he'll be getting an especially kickass wedding gift in a few months.)


Go Noles!

Oh, no...there's more.

Here's the latest on this tremendous a-hole:

Inmate Facing Life In Prison Escapes From Road Camp

An Escambia inmate is still on the loose tonight after walking away from a road prison work crew and apparently stealing a car from a daycare.

The inmate facing dozens of charges that could put him in prison for the rest of his life walked away from an Escambia County Road Prison Work Detail this morning.

36 year old Patrick Ray Robinson is believed to be driving a white 1999 Ford Windstar... One authorities say he stole from a daycare.

Road crew prison inmates were doing their work today less than a mile from here. Sheriff's deputies believe one of those inmates is driving around in a mother's mini-van .... one he stole from the Little Red Schoolhouse Daycare. It's something daycare workers had warned parents about. Don't leave your car running, when dropping off the kids.

Elizabeth Martinez Morales: "It's typical, apparently they're always telling the parents, you know don't leave your car running something could happen especially when you have kids in the car. You know, don't leave your car running and I always do."

Elizabeth Martinez Morales says she was inside the daycare for less than 5 minutes. When she came back out her mini-van was gone.

Elizabeth Martinez Morales: "I always look around for suspicious cars you know, it's just kind of you know second nature now and there was nobody if there was, they were hiding."

Sheriff's officials believe someone was hiding... 36 year old Patrick Robinson... A road prison inmate... Awaiting trial on dozens of felony charges... Including 17 counts of fraud... 12 counts of dealing in stolen property... And 3 counts of grand theft. (Yep, we swore out the affidavit in the state attorney's office two weeks ago.)

He faces 390 years in prison if convicted of all the charges. (This of course assumes he doesn't first meet an untimely end at the hands of a vicious collie.)

Robinson has several priors... Including one conviction for making explosives... And one conviction for aiding a prisoner escape.He was last seen doing work for the road prison at
Ellyson Field... Less than a mile from the Little Red Schoolhouse Daycare.

Elizabeth Martinez Morales: "I feel very fortunate. I mean, it could have been a lot worse so again, my kids weren't in the car with me. I wasn't there. They didn't take anything of value . I had less than a quarter of a tank of gas. So they're not going far without getting gas."

You may be asking how an inmate like Robinson was allowed on the road prison... Here's a look at how offiicials at the sheriff's office make that decision...

• Bond can not exceed 50 thousand dollars.
• No pending state prison sentence.
• No disciplinary problems at the jail.
• Not wanted by federal or other state authorities...
• Plus there's a list of aggravated charges like manslaughter and murder that would stop an inmate from working at the road camp.

(What I find weird here is that we were told Robinson DID escape from the Escambia County Jail last year...)

Robinson is the third inmate to escape from work detail while working for the Escambia Sheriff this month. The other two have been caught.

Oh, no.

Craaaaap. This is the jackass who robbed my mother. She has armed the alarm and locked her doors. Thankfully, the PPD is making extra runs by her house to check on her. I called her every hour tonight until she went to sleep just to try to make her feel even slightly safe.

Inmate Escapes From Prison Work Crew

ESCAMBIA COUNTY - An inmate from a road camp work crew escaped this morning while working at Ellyson Industrial Park.

36 year old Patrick Ray Robinson is in jail on several charges including grand theft, dealing in stolen property and fraudulent use of a credit card.

Deputies say a short time after Robinson escaped, a van was stolen from a daycare on East Olive Road. It's a 1999 White Ford Windstar with Florida license plate H48 LST.

Robinson is described as a white male, 5'6", 165 pounds, with brown hair.

If you any information on the location of Patrick Ray Robinson, call Crimestoppers at 433-STOP or the Escambia County Dispatch at 436-9620.

Preggers, eh?

So it seems that Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are expecting their first child together. The couple announced their engagement last week, and announced today that she's preggers.

Shotgun wedding much? Given that Ashlee's father is a former minister (with a decided predilection for channeling Sonny Crockett, complete with ill-fitting white linen suits and Hialeah-friendly t-shirts), one has to wonder what his thoughts are on the whole child-out-of-wedlock issue. Then again, this is the man who in all of his Svengali-like glory brought us "Blonde Ambition" and openly discussed his fondness for his older daughter's breasts.

Given that Pete Wentz wears tighter jeans and more makeup than most women I've encountered, chances are good that his spawn will emerge from the womb with flat-ironed hair and ironically-placed eyeliner.

There's no word yet as to whether or not they'll consider plastic surgery (ala Ashlee) if Baby Simpson-Wentz is born with an "ugly" nose or a "weird" chin. Youthful hair dye, however, is a strong probability. We can also presume a catastrophic lack of musical talent and overinflated ego, which is a common trait amongst Simpsons (see Jessica in the aforementioned "Blonde Ambition"). Then again, BSW might possess Mom's unique talent of doing a jig while lipsynching. When in doubt, BSW can always go to rehab, pen a bestselling memoir about growing up emo, and champion tuna as the real Chicken of the Sea.

(Oooh, a multitasker!)

Moreover, Ash and Pete fans - BSW will probably be oh so cutely tiny.

And we had to know: What are they like as a couple? "They are the cutest, they are tiny. They are gonna have tiny little kids, and I just think they are adorable."

Um...yeah.

I wonder - will they register for tiny onesies with skulls on them? Diapers made of tight, tight denim? A flurry of t-shirts from Hot Topic? Or perhaps they'll invent the very first Graco flat-iron for infants?

Just don't expect Mariah Carey to send a gift, mmmkay?

UPDATE: Pete Wentz is claiming we're all on a baby "witchhunt." So, um, maybe she's not pregnant. But I reserve my snark for the inevitable day upon which these two emoish poseurs spawn a Boy George doppelganger in really, really tight girl jeans. With the complete muffin top and flat ass effect. And the oh-so-ironic studded belt. And a Strawberry Shortcake t-shirt (heeeeeeeeey, look, I'm referencing 80's cartoons - how cool am I?). And checkered Vans.

A pox on you, FSN and Sun Sports!

Riddle me this, people.

How is it that #1 Miami is slated to take on #2 Florida State at the end of the month in a three game series in Tallahassee - and there's NO TV coverage whatsoever?

Grrr.

Kicking off Friday on a happy note!

French Quarter Fest kicks off today - D. and I plan on spending tomorrow down in the Quarter (in particular, we want to see Soul Rebels Brass Band).

So happy Friday, folks - here's a little Kermit Ruffins to kick off the FQF/Jazz Fest month.

OLGC has one ferosh advocate in Poppy Z. Brite.

God bless this woman - she's an articulate and passionate advocate for OLGC. I'm not sure her words will make any difference to the archdiocese, but still, I'm so glad she's championing this cause. It's an important one to anyone who has ever worshipped in a place that feels like home to your soul.

Poppy Z. Brite decries Uptown church closing

Best. Headline. EVER.

From NOLA.com, yesterday, and in this morning's T-P:

Senate panel approves bill allowing castration for sex offenders

Suddenly I feel as though I'm living in biblical times.

So today's the day.

Today's the day the archdiocese tells our parish officially that we're closing. :(

There's a rally, as NOLACleophatra very rightly noted, at OLGC today at 11:15 - if I could leave work and go, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

I'll say this for the plague...

I've lost ten lbs.

I'm pretty sure D. has dropped about the same amount.

Hey Ma

So James' "Hey Ma" comes out today - here's a video a British lobbying group made that coincides with the eponymous single.

James is in no way involved with this video, but the song is a heartbreaker about the pain we all suffer from war. Whether or not you support the military efforts in Afghanistan or Iraq, it's probably safe to say that we all agree to support our troops and pray for their safety, right?

Warning - this is very, very graphic.

Submitted without comment...

Behold the Forcefield of Cute!

So cute are the monsters that we took them to the levee this morning to let them off their leashes. They romped around and Jake - prissy brat that he is - even jumped into the Mississippi to play with some other dogs.

As we were leaving, we saw hundreds of dogs and thousands of people crowding Audubon Park for today's LSPCA Event, "Dog Day Afternoon." Funnily enough, a year ago yesterday D. and I participated in the Broward Humane Society's "Walk for the Animals" in Ft. Lauderdale.

My, how time flies...

Mmmkay, back to obsessing over Game 2 in the FSU-UVa series (Baseball America predicted that the Cavs would wipe the floor with us, and we're locked in a 2-2 pitcher's duel in the bottom of the 10th.)...

Your Friendly NOLA Sports Update

So yay, the Hornets are still atop the Western Conference and facing the Warriors today--they're looking to make it five-in-a-row. They hit their playoff bid earlier this week and can now safely cruise for the next 8 games...so why isn't CP3 a safe bet for MVP?

Hmm...

The VooDoo won last night - they beat the AFL defending champions, the SaberCats, and now sit comfortably on top of their division. Clevan Thomas, who played DB at FSU while I was in Tallahassee, plays for the 'Cats - as does former UM WR Jason Geathers. I took some pics for NOLA.com - you can see them here.

In awful news, it looks like my parish church is closing. :(

Kicking off Friday on a happy note!

Shalom, y'all.

I went to an interfaith Seder last night (I had to cover it for work) at Loyola - and I think that my large bowl of matzo ball soup was the first of many I'll enjoy this month as Passover approaches.

For now, though, as I adjust to an ambitious editorial calendar, here are the melodic ramblings of my beloved Guster.

Happy Friday!

Happy Fun Wednesday Time!

So yesterday would have been my parents' 41st wedding anniversary. Mom and I spent the morning in the state attorney's office, swearing an affidavit so that El Jackass can be formally arraigned later this week.

We spent the evening cheering Mom up by eating flatbread pizzas and chocolate-dipped strawberries (see? I found a use!), drinking wine and watching chick flicks.

Even D. seemed to get into the spirit of things.

This morning, D. and I returned to New Orleans...and this is what I discovered.

(Seriously, it's like the missing link to your resident nerdy audiophile.)



Aha! The James and R.E.M. connection is complete! Bwahahahahahahaha!