Crap. Gustav. Crap.

Gustav's a-comin'.

Oh no...

I'd just like to point out...

...that Michael Phelps has more gold medals than France.

Hehe.

So I'm in agreement with Jeffrey. The Hornets unis?

Do. Not. Want.

Pinstripes only belong in baseball, folks. And creole blue? A more "passionate" purple?

Spare me.

But I do kinda dig the new logos.

Hornets' new unis...

...thoughts?

Christ on a crouton!

Let hilarity ensue...

The Swimmer vs. The Mediocre Multi-Hyphenate

But so hilariously brilliant that I just spewed Diet Coke all over my desk.

From Yeeeah:

Jennifer Lopez wants you to know it’s about time you stopped watching the stupid Olympics and paid attention to her and her upcoming triathlon. Phelps who? It’s Jenny from the Block, dummies! According to MSNBC, Lopez, who appeared on “Good Morning America” Aug. 18 to discuss her preparations for the Malibu Triathlon, was overheard saying after the segment that she “couldn’t understand why everyone is talking about that swimmer,” according to a GMA source. “She couldn’t come up with (eight-time gold-medal winner Michael) Phelps’ name, and then she yammered on about how she was the one training for a triathlon just six months after giving birth, and how that was the big story right now, not ‘the swimmer.’”

Okay, let’s see. Some facts:
1. If you look into the eye of a hurricane you will see Michael
Phelps swimming.
2. Newton’s First Law is wrong: Even if an external force is applied to Michael Phelps he will remain in the Michael Phelps state of motion.
3. Water drinks Michael Phelps.
4. Every time you see a shooting star you are really watching Michael Phelps train in space.
5. Aquaman wears Michael Phelps underwear.
6. Newborn dolphins learn to swim by watching footage of Michael Phelps.
7. Michael Phelps doesn’t swim through water, water gets out of his way.

And now, for some Jennifer Lopez facts:
1. Jennifer Lopez can eat her weight in gouda.
2. Jennifer Lopez once crushed a folding chair with her ass.
3. Jennifer Lopez can fart Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.
4. Jennifer Lopez comes with saddlebags and paunch attachments.

The only way Jennifer Lopez will ever beat Michael Phelps at anything is if it involves eating her way through a swimming pool full of bacon, Fanta, and Christmas hams. And to the best of my knowledge, that kind of pool only exists in Britney Spears’ imagination. Advantage: Michael Phelps.

I'm thinking, hey, Phelps (and his stunning abs) has eight gold medals. Lopez has what, eight ex-husbands?

With my future husband's permission...

I wanted to post something D. wrote earlier this week about the Olympics (which we've been watching obsessively).

http://blog.nola.com/gladow/2008/08/relay_teams_win_abates_blogger.html

OK, so yes, I suck.

I meant to post more on Friday, but life's been rather hectic of late.

Well, no, that's not really it.

The reality is that I live in NOLAdishu.

The reality is that my mom is fast approaching needing assisted living.

The reality is that I never expected 29 to look or feel like this.

But I also wouldn't change a thing. Even with the strain, it's just life. It's not some ridiculous, glossy, frothy film (see: Kate Hudson). It's also not a Dave Eggers book. I'm not painfully witty or especially clever.

Besides, everyone knows that David Sedaris is funnier.

(Sweet mercy, I feel whiny tonight.)

Kicking off Friday on a happy note!

...or at least as happy a note as possible when suffering a caffeine deficiency.

Sorry for the absence of late. Between travel, family issues, and D.'s birthday/our anniversary, it's been hectic.

I briefly came out of hibernation last night for a cookbook meeting at the OLGC rectory and then hauled it home to catch the first quarter of the Saints-Cardinal preseason game. And as previously mentioned, I'm lamenting the weird facial hair sported by Drew Brees.

There's only one man I think looks hot with facial hair, and that's D.

(Not that I'm biased, of course.)

I'll recap the past couple of weeks later on today, but here's The Verve's new single, "Love is Noise."

Warning - it WILL grow on you insidiously. I wonder how long the band can stay together this time - isn't this their third or fourth attempt at banddom?

Oh, Drew Brees...

You had me at "hello."

But really, you must lose the pornstache.

As the goatee goes, so too goes my crush...into the ether.

Sigh.

Random and sundry thoughts...

It's been hectic since my return from Boca - I've been working a lot, and D.'s birthday/our anniversary was this past weekend. Here are a few thoughts from the course of the past several days:

• I hate when friends lie and throw you under the bus to save face with mere acquaintances. Ouch.
• Why has no one told me about Stein's Deli? D. and I went there for lunch today, and I just about inhaled my Kelly sandwich. Dear GOD, was that good...
• Absinthe tastes like watered-down Good n' Plenty. And not in a good way. I'm very meh on the whole experience.
• Crawfish risotto will win over neighbors in jiffy.
• Any man who takes a donated fruit salad and dumps it into a blender with tequila is all right by me.
• D. loves carrot cake.
• The collies have been more shedtastic than usual.
• I had a great time fishing off Boca Inlet with Trishy and Brooke. Also, I still have a fishing pole mark where my thighs were sunburned.
• I was in a car accident on Monday. Yep, I was literally hit by a truck. Good times. I'm fine, just sore.
• I need more sleep.
• I really, REALLY need to lose weight.
• I love The Verve's new album, and MGMT's new single "Electric Feel" is growing on me.
• The crazy shovel lady case went to trial while I was in south Florida, despite me telling the DA's Office that I would be away more than a month in advance, before they continued the trial. The guy was found not guilty. He claimed self-defense. Evidently, she slapped him. The jury found it reasonable that he should respond by almost cutting her arm off with a shovel. Clearly.

Happy Birthday, D.!

Hope you like your Beasley rookie jersey...oh, and...


...the Mannings should officially do all NFL commercials.

"JENGA!"